Sunderbans ‘summit’

Taking its cue from what the governments of Maldives and Nepal did to highlight their climatic concerns — Maldives had its meeting underwater while Nepal ministers sat at the base camp of Mount Everest — the Bengal cabinet almost held a meeting in a remote island in the Sunderbans. An invisible observer from Metro delivers a blow-by-blow account of the meeting that did NOT take place.

The chief minister was miffed. The meeting had started late. “How can we ask others to come to Writers’ Buildings in time when we are starting our meeting four hours behind schedule?” Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee thundered. The ministerial convoy of mechanised boats had got stuck midstream.

Sunderbans affairs minister Kanti Ganguly began to explain that such delay was the rule rather than the exception in the Sunderbans, especially during low tide, and another minister said it must have been the handiwork of Mamata Banerjee, when it was discovered that Manab Mukherjee, the small-scale enterprises and tourism minister, was not there. The chief minister was gearing for another outburst, but Mukherjee walked in, claiming he was studying the tourism potential of the Sunderbans first hand.

“Let’s start the meeting formally. What’s on the agenda?” asked the chief minister. “The development of the Sunderbans, especially in the context of the ongoing Copenhagen summit,” said Kanti Ganguly. “Let’s have a master plan. We can ask the Salim group to do it, followed by identification of land to build industries catering to development,” suggested a minister who will not be named. It was followed immediately by the sound of someone choking. “Have you gone mad? Land acquisition again? Do you want us to really lose the elections?” demanded Subhash Naskar, the RSP minister from the Sunderbans. Land and land reforms minister Abdur Rezzak Molla was hysterical.

“Give us money to build embankments properly instead,” exclaimed Naskar. “The Centre is not releasing the money,” said finance minister Asim Dasgupta. “How long do you think kendrer banchana (the deprivation by the Centre?) will work as a slogan? The elections are hardly a year-and-a-half away,” countered Kshiti Goswami, the public works department minister from the RSP. “But your department cannot even fix the microphones in the Assembly,” said Sushanta Ghosh, the firebrand CPM minister from West Midnapore.

At this point a great chaos ensued. Goswami tried to grab the mike, but solar-powered as it was, it went dead. “Start the generator quickly,” ordered Kanti Ganguly. When the mike finally came to, the Cabinet had come to a decision.